Dirty Santa in thirty seconds
Everyone brings one wrapped gift and draws a number. On your turn, open a new gift or steal one that is already open. Get robbed and you open another or steal from someone else. Most groups agree that a gift is frozen after two or three steals, so the last thief keeps it.
It is the same game as white elephant and Yankee Swap. Dirty Santa is the name for the version where the stealing gets personal.
Why a card of someone in the room wins
A gag gift gets one laugh, and then nobody wants the singing fish. A trading card of the host, with a straight face on the front and a rap sheet on the back, gets a laugh when it is opened and a fight every time it is stolen, because there is exactly one of it.
It also outlives the party. It is printed on real card stock and sits in a magnetic display case, so it ends up on a desk or the fridge instead of in the regift pile.
Stat lines for maximum chaos
The back of the card is where the trash talk lives:
- The host: "Parties hosted: 11. Parties that started on time: 0"
- The reigning champion: "Dirty Santa titles: 6. Times accused of cheating: 6"
- The coworker: "Reply-alls sent: 1,204. Regrets: none"
- The dog: "Presents unwrapped early: all of them"
- Grandpa: "Thermostat changes this season: 41. Permission asked: 0"
Going over the top
If your group plays for blood, raise the stakes:
- Put the card in a slab for $39.99, so it looks like it belongs in a vault. Nobody gives up a slabbed card without a fight.
- Make it holographic. A holo finish is $2.99 a card in a Rookie Box, and nothing gets stolen faster than something shiny.
- Bring two. Two cards are $21.99: one goes in the game and one goes to the person on it, so they can stop trying to steal it back.
- No limit at your party? A MEGA card is 11 x 15.4 inches for $49.99, comes in a protective sleeve, and is very hard to hide under a chair.
Price and timing
One card is $17.99 in a magnetic display case, before tax. US standard shipping costs $5 below a $30 order and nothing on orders of $30 or more, so check whether your group's limit counts shipping. For a Christmas party, order by Monday, December 14 with standard shipping; it is expected by Wednesday, December 23.
